


i'm not easy (but hope i'm worth it).

by zielschmerz



Category: Atypical (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, Tumblr Prompt, angst with happy ending, my first time writing mostly angst, please be gentle thank you!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:28:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21536719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zielschmerz/pseuds/zielschmerz
Summary: Tumblr prompt: Casey and Izzie get into a fight and Sam doesn’t like it. He had gotten used to setting a place at the table for Izzie, and Izzie taking the tv at 7pm on Mondays to watch her favorite show, etc. Their fight is ruining his system/schedule. So they obviously have to make up for the benefit of Sam.
Relationships: Casey Gardner & Izzie, Casey Gardner/Izzie
Comments: 17
Kudos: 327





	i'm not easy (but hope i'm worth it).

**Author's Note:**

> characters belong to atypical, but the story is mine.
> 
> i'm really not good at writing in general. please be gentle with me, loves.

_“I really love him.”_

_“I know you do,” Izzie replies. Her tone coming out resigned, looking everywhere but Casey._

_“It’s just sometimes a thing feels so right,” Casey continues, “you know?” _

_The question hangs in the air, the silence is filled almost entirely with their thoughts. There’s no one else at the parking lot except for them, the only light is from the lamp-post next to their car. Hands hanging limply by their sides, both of them inching closer to uncharted territory._

_With a touch of their fingers, her heart beating out of rhythm, and Casey marvels at the way their cold interlocking hands can make her feel so intoxicatingly warm._

。‧。‧。

Casey isn’t sure how things escalated to this degree.

It was supposed to be an innocuous hang out between her and Evan, after months of radio silence and rejected calls. She sees the hesitation in every move he makes, and feels a small twinge in her heart, for the guilt of what could’ve been.

Everything about him feels so familiar – the way he rubs the back of his neck when he’s nervous, the way he _still_ remembers she likes two dabs of cinnamon in her hot chocolate, and the way his eyes would soften when she rambles.

“Do you think,” she asks as she toys with the rim of her cup, “we can be friends again?”

“We will be,” he replies without hesitation, “but I… I just need some time.”

“Would you believe me if I said I never meant to hurt you?”

“But you did.”

Regardless of everything that had happened, Casey knew he always understood her. Even during her “Clayton” phase, he never doubted who she was, only ever upset about who she’s pretending to be. Nothing has changed.

“I’m sorry,” and she wonders how many times she needs to say it before the pain starts to dissipate, “I’ve never expected Izzie in a million years, but being with her just feels….”

“Right?”

She looks up from her cup, “yeah, right.” and he crumbles a bit at her confirmation.

“I know,” his voice breaks, “and, despite how much I know you love me, I can’t compare.”

Glancing at her phone, she notes that she has about thirty minutes before she has to meet Izzie back at her home and she briefly considers if she should just meet her at the store for the snack run.

“Love isn’t meant to be compared,” Casey murmurs, “There isn’t one to begin with.”

Deciding to leave this conversation for another time, she makes a move to stand and trips over her own chair in her haste. _Of course this would happen to her,_ she groans internally while bracing herself for the impact.

Evan reacts out of instinct and pulls her to him just in time, their faces centimeters apart. Her chest heaving as she panics about her almost faceplant until she realizes the whole diner has gone quiet. Looking toward the door, she sees Izzie, arms holding their favorite snacks, eyes shimmering with unshed tears.

* * *

_“Let’s forehead promise to never leave each other again.”_

_They both giggle as they lean into each other, breaths coming out lighter as if afraid to break the trance they’re under. The smell of faint licorice lingers between them, and the tentative touches become their secret language._

。‧。‧。

Sam jerks awake when Izzie comes storming into the house.

He watches in bewilderment as she flings the chips across the living room table, then grabs for her backpack that she had left here before going on the snack run. _Something is wrong_ , he thinks and the uncertainty is making him fidget.

He doesn’t like it when things change. Hates it even.

“Hey,” Sam calls out, “I have the documentary ready, you remember the ice ca-“

“I’m going home, Sam,” Izzie replies without turning around,” I’m sorry, but maybe next time.”

Now, he’s eighty percent certain that something is wrong. The number goes up to absolutely one hundred when he sees Izzie flinches away at Casey’s touch. He stands worryingly in the living room, arms crossed in front of himself as if trying to make himself smaller.

“Iz,” Casey pleads, “don’t be like this.”

“Don’t be like what?” Izzie snaps, the fire evident in her eyes as she turns to look at Casey.

“For being upset at you for _lying_ to me about meeting your ex?” her eyes flash dangerously.

“If you would just let m-“

“For being utterly heartbroken for catching you two in that compromising position?” Her words fire in rapid succession, like bullets targeted straight for Casey.

“No, it wasn’t like tha-“

“Right.”

Casey’s jaw clenches and she breathes hard through her nose, “Even if I had done it, at least I was kissing someone I knew, instead of finding comfort in a random guy only one week into their relationship.”

Clasping her hands over her mouth, eyes widening in shock as the words come falling out. The overwhelming regret consumes her and she knows the look of disbelief and pain on Izzie’s face will haunt her for days to come.

It only lasts a few seconds before Izzie schools her face back to normalcy. An absolute poker face she reserved for everyone else… but Casey.

The tension between them stretches, and stretches, and stretches. With one last look at Casey, Izzie brushes by her and out the door.

It hurts in all the worst places.

* * *

_“She broke up with Evan?” Sam demanded an answer, “Where is she?”_

_“Sam, stop.”_

_“No! Casey broke up with Evan right when I discovered that he’s the perfect Zahid.”_

_His anger feels justified. He didn’t like it when things changed, unless they were exactly the same as the old. Evan finally became someone he got used to, someone that he realized he could rely on. Who is she to keep giving and taking things away from him?_

。‧。‧。

It’s been three weeks.

Sam triple checks his calendar again before going down to set the table for dinner. He likes setting up the dinner table, because this way he can place them how he likes it – in straight parallel lines.

 _One, two, three, four, five_ , he counts, and brings the plates over to the table.

Looking at the fifth seat, he hopes that Izzie will show up this time. He really wants to show her the new penguins that had been introduced to the aquarium in Australia but, no matter how many times he asks, Casey just gives him a defeated shrug and quietly puts the plate back.

When Elsa calls everyone for dinner, he waits expectantly for Izzie to come waltzing in through the front door. With every second that passes by, the anxiety rises and he didn’t even notice he was tugging on the back of his hair again.

He finally breaks when Casey reaches over and covers his trembling hands with her own. He pulls his hands away and stands, pacing back and forth in front of the dining table. He can feel the stares of his parents and Casey boring into his back.

“You need to make up with Izzie,” he rambles on, “preferably now or latest tomorrow.”

Casey’s eyes widen and chokes out,” What? How?”

His face is starting to get red; he can already feel the burn behind his ears and the throb on the side of his head. He needs things to go back to the way it was.

“I don’t know. Give her a hug, or flowers, or something.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“No, you don’t get to say that to me, Casey,” he points his finger at Casey, and yells in frustration. “You don’t get to keep bringing someone into my life and just taking them out of the equation whenever you feel like it.”

“That’s not fair, Sam.”

“You did this with Evan, and now you’re doing the same with Izzie.”

“That’s not fair,” Casey repeats, her voice comes out muted and broken, “I’m hurting too.”

The room is quiet besides the sound of Sam’s breathing and the echo of Casey’s words. She looks at Sam with so much agony that it finally registers to him, for the first time, that his younger sister isn’t as strong as she makes herself out to be.

* * *

_“_ _I was stirring up shit just because I was jealous.”_

_The averted gaze, the clasped hands, and the tender, shy smile she sends her way. The dimples – God, she loves those dimples. Casey aches to reach out, to run the pads of her thumb over the indentations. Izzie’s smile sets alight the twinkles in her eyes, and Casey finds herself immersed in a sea of stars – a willing captive._

。‧。‧。

She’s been sitting in the parkway of Izzie’s house for the last twenty minutes.

Her heart gives a leap and her heart begins thumping wildly in her chest when she realizes Izzie had knocked on her car window. _When did she get there?_ Casey panics. _Has she been watching her sit like an idiot in her car for the last twenty minutes?_

“What in the world are you doing, Casey?” Izzie’s voice muffled through the glass, her face straight and unreadable.

“Nothing,” Casey quickly denies and backtracks, “well, I mean I came here because I wanted to talk to you.”

“I thought we’ve pretty much cleared everything you’ve wanted to say last time.”

“No,” Casey says with tears burning in her eyes, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything I said.”

Izzie opens her mouth as if to speak, but Casey gently nudges her so she can get out of the car. Watching Casey stand before her again after three long weeks of avoidance, she can’t help but try to drink in every details of Casey.

“I didn’t tell you about Evan,” Casey attempts to blink away her tears, “and that’s on me because I was afraid of how you would react. I was being a dumbass and tripped over my own chair, and he was fast enough to help me up. He’s always been a very sensitive topic between us… and I just wanted to make sure everything was okay with him before I said anything. I was scared…”

“Scared of what?”

“Scared of you leaving. Of you starting to be weird again. And there was always a small voice in the back of my head that says you were more than I deserve.”

“You had promised,” Izzie gently says, “you promised me we were over that.”

“I know. Some stubborn, stupid part of me just didn’t let go.”

Casey looks up at Izzie through wet lashes, she can feel the barrier between them starting to resolve. She takes a breath and finds that she breathes much easier this time. Moments passed, and Izzie remains quiet. Casey’s gaze dances all over Izzie’s face, searching for an answer to her confession.

“That’s all I came here to say,” Feeling her heart sink, Casey leans back against the car with a soft sigh. She takes a moment to gather herself before straightening up and nods to Izzie.

“I’ll… I’ll see you at school,” she half smiles and reaches for the handle before a hand reaches out and pulls her in by the neck.

Izzie’s lips are as soft as she remembers. Gentle and loving, she feels Izzie lick across her bottom lip and she can’t stop the whimper that escapes from her mouth. The ache to touch her consumes her last rational thought, Casey settles her hands on the small of Izzie’s back and tugs her closer.

The world seems to fade away at Casey’s touch, and Izzie is clutching at Casey’s shoulders as if she’s drowning in her love.

“Newton,” she pants as she pulls back, mind blurring from their kiss, “Wait.”

“For what?” Casey chuckles as she kisses down her chin, and nips at her jaw. Izzie’s knees buckle when she licks an especially sensitive spot behind her ear.

Izzie moves a hand over Casey’s mouth, and watches in satisfaction as Casey seem to snap out of her daze. Her eyes widening as though asking _why_.

“Not here,” Izzie smiles with a wicked glint in her eyes, “let’s go to my room.”

It becomes a race of who can get each other’s clothes off the fastest and, as they reach Izzie’s room, it is clear that Casey is the winner. She smirks before pushing Izzie onto the bed, already diving into another kiss. It’s tender and possessive, and Izzie wonders how she can feel so much at once until Casey’s hands starts to dance along the edge of her shorts, teasing endlessly for the sweet relief.

“Newton,” Izzie mumbles against Casey’s unrelenting lips, “I’m tired of being perfect.”

“You don’t have to be. Not with me.” Casey whispers, as she gently tugs Izzie’s shorts off. The cold causing Izzie to shiver before Casey leans back on top of her again, her heat rippling off in waves, wrapping her like a warm blanket. 

“I know I’m not easy,” Her hips twitching as Casey plants kisses along the inside of her thigh, and it sounds like a prayer, “please don’t give up on me.”

“I’m not looking for easy.”

**Author's Note:**

> come bother me @ heyluthor on tumblr or send prompts so I can write more of them falling in love because they’re so fucking soft it breaks my heart.


End file.
